" Why, why had he obstinately clung to that dream from the weariness of actuality? And now more actuality had robbed him of that dream
So all these years - since when? - he had been seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed place in the heavens. "
— Paz Marquez Benitez, Dead Stars
hindi ako magkanda-ugaga kagabi sa kakaisip kung paano ko i-bubudget ang oras ko sa pagrereview para sa mga exams at paggawa ng papers. Sobrang by the hour na ang schedule ko, pero sa palagay ko naman ay hindi ko masusunod. At kahit masunod ko pa nga ang sched, i know that what i will accomplish will only be mediocre. chopsuey.
….hurrah hurrah hurrah…
na-move deadline ng paper for polsci 172!
Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay libre ang mangarap. binabayaran natin ito ng ating oras — oras na maaari sanang gamitin upang isakatuparan ang mga pangarap, oras na kailanma’y di na maibabalik pa.
– naggising mula sa denial mode, heto’t nagsesegway sa pag-iilusyon:
aycksura, finalist - pinoy BIG bayani.
it’s almost 3 in the morning, and i should be doing a lot of things that do not involve playing MP3s, writing in blogs [though it does involve writing. alot of it] reading scripts annd posting surveys.
i should be editing articles, reading about Russia, researching on the bureau of customs and the european union’s constitution, preparing research proposals and reports… and the list goes on till september ends.
well at least i still know what i should be doing.
which i will be doing, as soon as i finish this.
*wake me up, when september ends…
"We all honor heroes for different reasons. Sometimes for their daring, sometimes for their bravery, sometimes for their goodness. But mostly we honor heroes because at one point or another, we all dream of being rescued. Of course, if the right hero doesn’t come along, sometimes we just have to rescue ourselves."
—Mary Alice, Desperate Housewives
***
yes, i obviously love the show. love the characters, love the witty dialogue.
***
i’m currently writing a report on Emilio Jacinto’s Liwanag at Dilim. And in a kind of sorry joke — i have to report about Jacinto’s views on liberty, equality, government, and oh, LOVE.
***bitterness seeping through. hahaha.
are the heroes we venerate today really the heroes we should look up to? </p>
it’s fascinating how the narration of history and even of current events differ depending on who writes it, and for what reason. take the history of the USSR.. (which will be discussed later on… when i’m reviewing for PS 172) even those who claim to be neutral and to simply narrate things are taken off guard with their sentence structure and choice of words. how one says things depict the perception of that person to the event; and even if s/he purport to have an unbiased writing, the language reveals it all.
don’t you just hate it when friendster emails you that someone [i.e., your "friend"] has posted another crappy piece of writing. it’s not like you give a shit about the things they did, the things they felt, the songs they sang, etc etc etc…
<p>
<p>
and it’s not like what they wrote is what they really did and felt at that time.
<p>kaya nga na-imbento ang salitang EDITING.
<p>harharhar.
<p> now you know how it feels.
a friend once told me ‘parang hindi ka mapakali.’
<p>and it can never be more true. i’m poist to run again; i’m bound to run. i feel like i’ve been running for a very long time now… not that i’m running away - it just feels like i’m running… if it’s towards something and what that something is, i am not sure. i’m just running, walking, moving. hindi ako mapakali. hindi ko mahanap ang lugar na pagpipirmihan ko. at sa palagay ko, hindi rin naman ako magiging masaya ako kung pipirmi ako sa isang bagay.
God, i feel so at a lost again.
…
4.) its story often implies a need to be saved.. whether from an evil stepmom, a boring life, or from the perils of ones own folly. it deters self-initiative in solving one’s problems and facing one’s demons
3.) it’s usually so "commercialized," thus inculcating the wrong values to our people.
for example, a lot of the romantic comedies circulating nowadays involve a girl and a boy - one or both of them filthy rich.
heck. even the janitor role Richard Guitierez was portraying in a movie sports bench apparel everytime he appears on screen.
2.) it makes people expect and dream of things that don’t really happen to people in real life. or even if it did, the chances of its occurence in the Philippines is 1 in 8 million. people have higher chances of winning the lottery.
RE: ESCAPIST entertainment.
1.) it makes me feel at a lost.
NOTE: the operational word in the title is: "right now." i might have less bitter thoughts when i become sober from caffeine…
